Eating big is so much easier said than done

To grow, I need eat anywhere from 200-250 grams of protein per day, if not 320 grams of protein per day. Plus maybe the same amounnt in carbs, and then some fats.

Looking at just the energy needed, I'd probably need 3,000 calories, each day, to gain weight.

It's a stuggle. But I want to do it, as much a I can, until March.

Don't hav a camera (well, I do, it's a digital. I don't have the cable for it) so can't post any before or after pics right now. but it's probably a good idea to.

Did deadlift on saturday, after work and it shot up something like 60lbs. Started to wonder what was going on because honestly 155lbs felt heavy but the next workout at 165lbs was easy.

See, last workout I did 165lbs.

So this workout I added 10lbs. The weight went up easier than ever, so I added ten more. And the weight still went up easy. So I just added ten more and then another ten, and then finally twenty for the last set because I was feeling adventurous. So I started the exercise at 175lbs on Saturday and ended up ding 225 for 4 reps at the end. Felt like a god (It's probably just my old level of strength returning to me because I used to deadlift in High School and I think I got to around 250 at the time, but I don't remember).

If/when I find my camera cable and get a lot more weight i'll put up a youtube video to brag.

Week 2 and still going strong

Added 30lbs (instead of 10) to squat today. Purely by accident. I guess doing 8 hours of cashiering means you mistake 35lb plates for 25lb plates. Managed 5x3 at this weight (205lbs). So I'll be here for a bit.

OTOH, close to squatting 2 wheels. It's nice. Current goal is 3. Because that would look badass.

Added 20lbs to rows, and i wanna say 10 or 15lbs to press. Gonna be stuck there for a bit too.

I know this breaks all the rules of my routine but it's awesome to be pushing myself this hard. This early. Beginner gains don't last forever.

Considering a bulk over the winter. I mean, not like I can go around shirtless in -10 degree weather.

English is done. Finally.

Lowest grade was a 90%, I think. I did the math. For me to pass with a C. I'd have to get 50 points on my research paper.

since I have the required 2500 words, the necessary 15 sources (that was a lot harder than I thought. At least I got to cite something from ancient history!), and that I spellchecked it before publishing, I'm expecting that I'll get a lot more than 50 points.

the final grade will come down to how strict the teacher is concerning source quality. We're supposed to have 10 sources that are scholarly reviewed, and 10 that are current (published after 2007).

I have maybe 3 scholarly reviewed sources and 4 or 5 sources that are current. As stated, one is ancient (1882 baby yah!) history, and was dealing with how the price of oil fluctuated over the first 20 years that a market was created for it. Dry stuff but oddly fascinating in a way.

I'm so glad I don't have to do it a third time. Getting off my ass to do the research paper sucked big time. But I'm glad I did it, because it boiled down to "doing this paper once, right now, or having to do it later and do all these other assignments all over again."

I have absolutely no idea if I'll have the money to take a class next semester, but if I don't, then at least I have time to devote to other endeavors in life (you digging how this positive reassessment works now?).

Problems solved. Worries eliminated.

I am undergoing a massive restructuring in my life.

In fact, you could say that I am tearing down the walls, kicking out the demons, and massively restructuring my life. It pretty much started when I read part a self-help book that showed me how to be happy. The process is simple.

Essentially, when life gives you something to be frustrated about, you find something about the situation to be happy about. I know it sounds strange, but it works. The author commented on how one time he had a flat tire, so he had to go out and fix it. He changed his mindset by relfecting on the fact that he was able to get a little bit of fresh air while doing so!

When I tried this myself, the first week or so was hard. It's hard to think of anything good from a bad situation when you're used to being fed shit in your life. But here's the thing. You find something, no matter how trivial it might be ("Damn. I had to deal with that asshole of a customer. Well, at least the next one was nice." Or "Damnit. I forgot my gym shorts. Well, at least I get to drive some more and listen to music as I do so."). And it works wonders. ou go from being frustrated to being joyful. You forget the negative and move onto the positive.

If you are to have any success in life, you need to think positively. While I always have been optimistic, this technique has taken it to a whole new level for me. I started doing this, reflexively, for all the other drek that's been handed to me in my life, and it has done a lot for unraveling the knots inside my head.

Restructuring this blog is the next step. I've taken down all the posts that convey any negative thoughts. I'm gonna purge them. Purge them from my mind. From the internet. From the public eye. Thus becoming a better person.

This is only one aspect of several things I am doing.

I'm also quitting smoking.

I'm also taking up weightlifting (again).

There's a funny thing about that one.

I'm about 20lbs overweight. I wasn't happy. So I joined a gym to lose the weight with the idea that they have free weights that I can play around with, ended up adding 10lbs to my squat on the third day of weight lifting and realized that it wasn't weighing too much that was making me unhappy, it was being a scrawny bastard. So right now my goal is to just get stronger. I know size will come so I'm not worried about that. Maybe when I'm stronger than I am now I'll revisit my body composition, but I realize there's absolutely no point in being skinny and not being able to overpower someone. So strength is now my goal, even though it wasn't to begin with.

And I'm on a much better routine than I was before, and I know that if I follow it, the strength will come. Just give me six months, or a year, or two. It is going to be so awesome when I get back to college because I will actually have the correct mindset by then!

I have so very much to look forward to in this life!

Cricket, yo!

So this sport is big in India, which probably explains why there's a big group of Indian kids who play it every day at the SRC.

I saw a friend of mine and decided to join in.

It's fun. But it's nothing like baseball. So my rudiementary notions of what to do were quite lost.

Fun shit though.

I almost got balled in the balls, too... But it was a tennis ball so... yeah.

This is some old-school hacker shit right here!

No, seriously.

I work as an office assistant in the department of computer science in the Sydney Chapman building at the University of Fairbanks, Alaska (all you would-be stalkers can hunt me down now).

I work from 2:30 to 5 pm each day. This overlaps with my boss' schedule by like, half an hour. Yesterday they had me surplussing some old computer equipment (basically cataloging it to get rid of it, didn't catch all the details but I caught the important ones).

The old equipment was in this office that was in the grad student office. Two desks, which they're keeping, 2 monitors on the ground, a full computer system on one of the desks, assumed not to be working, and assorted miscellaneous equipment (mice, keyboards, speakers), and two very old tape drives.

One of the tape drives was dated 01/01/76, and was, from all places, purchased from NASA. It makes me wonder what's stored on the thing. Not having access to an old tape drive I'll never know. The other one was unlabelled.

The computer on the desk was all plugged in, so I decided to try booting it up. I clicked the button a few times (you know, like the ones they had in the 90's. Thing had a power and reset button, both stuck out. You don't find those on computers anymore), because it was old and would sometimes shut itself off as soon as it turned on, unless you hit it just right. It was an Intel processor (from when they used the slogan "intel Inside"... or do they still use that?) that was shipped with Red Hat linux installed, instead of the usual windows you always see. Pretty crazy as it is, right? (seriously, the computer had a sticker of red hat linux on it).

Well the thing is booting every little thing that an OS needs up just fine. Tells me this thing or that thing is ok. I don't speak it's language but its words are soothing to me nonetheless. When it finishes, it just says "J. Dart login:" for the guy who owned the computer.

This was some serious cloak and dagger shit right here. I felt like I'd just been transported back through time. It felt great.